www.gabbyandlaird.com…

gabbyIt was a thrill to briefly meet Gabby and Laird Hamilton or, more appropriately, me giddily ask for a photo with two people I admire for their lifestyle: active, down-to-earth and inspiring.  If I could relive that moment, I would have approached Gabby differently than I did but I was caught-off-guard and they were busy entertaining many at Laird’s paddle board booth.

Choices…

jessTwo decades separate my friend and me…our choice, a state of mind, make it yours to feel and look your best at any age and point in time!
I accept that I won’t be getting much sleep tonight as the time diminishes between now and the time at which my alarm has been set for a morning workout!  I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve last posted here and I didn’t want another day to pass before posting!
Upon my return from attending IDEA, a worldwide fitness and health convention that was held in Anaheim, CA at LA LIVE, I almost immediately fell ill with a 24 hour bug.  The last time this happened was almost identical to this occurrence of being on the go with little sleep and then upon slowing down, almost immediately beset with forced rest and recovery.
While wriggling in bed on Monday, all I wanted to do was share my experience at the conference here on my blog.  Initially, I couldn’t quite figure-out what it was about this particular convention of professionals that distinguished it from a few others I’ve attended and I realized it could be described in two words: energy and passion both essential components to fitness as a lifestyle.
I debated how to share my weekend experience with photos and decided to accompany a few photos with captions with others meriting posts.  Here I share one photo of one of two roommates/friends I joined at the conference.  I realized that two decades separate us though we have fitness and laughter in common.
Just wanted to post this to say…thank you for sharing this journey of ours to live a life of passion.  I will be posting photos and stories in the next day.

Contact information…

As I navigate my way through this blogging world trying to figure-out how to enhance my site, here is my contact info posted as a post!

bicepmom888@gmail.com

FB page: bicepmom

Instagram: bicepmom

Thank you for your support and for sharing your journey with me.  A little side note about how the name came to be…a friend and fellow blogger tossed-out this name while helping me with my blog and it stuck because it’s short, memorable and funny. Thank you newtritionsavvysarah.com (my friends’ blog and FB page name) for the name and your help! Check-out her site for her healthy tips on recipes, food and her favorite things.

“Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance”

viprquote“Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it! And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.”

I think I need to stop saying this is another favorite because so far each and every point of recent has been a favorite including this one (the complete list is shared point/day on my FB bicepmom page).

The Nike slogan “just do it” perfectly sums-up this one!  Parting after 18 years of marriage was to give my ideas and dreams a chance.  A recent quote I read seems so relevant here: “saying you have no option is relieving yourself of all responsibility”.  I could have continued to believe and say I had no option but I did and it was one that required taking a chance: staying was certainty.

Yes I am a Mom and with that comes an enormous amount of responsibility and yes, I was a wife, with a partner who was my best friend who supported, encouraged and shared some of the most intimate moments and life’s joys at one point in time but, along the way of living life, things happen and change. I respect the father of my children and what we had but it no longer nourished and nurtured the me I am today.

Visualizing dreams is the first step and in between that and making them happen is daily life with intent: it’s like a stage backdrop that sets the tone and determines the actors’ words and actions.  One of my dreams is to present my journey to women who are at a crossroads in life with an accompanying rapper ((yes, I have someone in particular in mind) while I peel away the layers of clothing that represent the should’s of Moms to share what I am today physically which is the result of a series of choices and is now my lifestyle.  Fitness is the physical manifestation of my journey of creating and defining the me of today.

Six years ago this November, I took my first step into fitness and about 3 years ago I created this blog that started with a few entries and lay dormant until about 6 months ago.  What has materialized since then with the blog is beyond what I had ever imagined or planned but is one of the driving forces behind living my dreams. BELIEVE because it’s your belief that will fuel your strength to start creating quantifiable changes in your life. The best part of living your passion and truth is that you start living the life of your dreams :). BELIEVE because it’s happening right now and right here :)!!

Empty spaces…

brunomarsThis past weekend was a whirlwind of activity, emotions and transition.  I realized too how fortunate I have been with translating my thoughts into writing as I sat down this past weekend wanting to post to no avail.   I think it was my mindset trying to process the “empty spaces” I was feeling for the first time without my children.  And the empty space left by not communicating with a friend I recently met who is in a similar situation, divorced with children, who happened to come into my life quite unexpectedly.

My ex also hosted a BBQ this past Sunday for friends from out of town and the children were with him so I stopped by.  I wasn’t able to hold it together to stay longer than an hour as I missed the kids so much and found myself wanting to organize my ex’s home and quite suddenly was overcome with emotions and feeling suffocated.  It was also a realization that my ex is doing a much better job with remaining in contact with our old friends.  I am still in a strange place of creating my own space of where I am in life, who I am and what I’d like to accomplish that involves new surroundings, people and experiences though I value my old and pre-existing friendships dearly.  Change requires mental energy and bandwidth and re-prioritization.
Today is Tuesday and I just stopped by our old home before it goes out on market and though I felt nostalgic, I was no where near as emotional as I was the first time I stopped by after vacating it.  A sign that I am moving on though still having moments like this past weekend where I am sad and uncertain.  It’s a process, learning experience and though, not always easy, is necessary.  I accept my situation as a result of the decisions and choices that were made and will live each day as best as I’m able while thinking about and creating my own opportunities and roadmap.
An example of creating opportunities occurred last week when I was invited to Facebook Headquarters to participate in a user experience interview on ads as an ad placer for my bicepmom page.  It was a fun and interesting experience and could be left at that but I have decided to contact the point person I met with to ask if there might be any opportunities for me.  If there should be a fit some where, perhaps that’s something else to consider while I continue to pursue and find my place in fitness/entertainment.
When I created this blog, it was to share my experiences as a Mom.  Recently I have been contacted by companies interested in advertising and having me try and write product reviews.  I’m flattered, humbled and excited about the potential opportunities and am enjoying the process.  I’m here to share hoping to inspire other women in my situation to really think about their lives as individuals in addition to their roles as Mothers, wives, friends, sisters and daughters.  We are not defined by our situation but we define and create them.  Love is a choice, an active and dynamic one, and not an option.  I am not here as a proponent of divorce, separation or otherwise but simply someone who came to a crossroads in life and realized that I wasn’t happy and that I needed to assume responsibility of my choices and, as the saying goes, seize the day to create the changes in my life.  I made a choice, a decision and I will continue to move forward and onward with hope and optimism.  Believe!
(photo taken on my way to a Bruno Mars concert and after a make-over trial for the figure competition in Sept compliments of GiGi, MAC counter Nordstrom’s Stanford, CA)

“30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself” Marc Chernoff

poolside“30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself” by Marc Chernoff 5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
When my friend shared this post with me the “30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself” by Marc Chernoff, I read it and found myself nodding from beginning to end: nodding in acknowledgment in both theory and practice. Every point was worth highlighting so what started as my intention to simply copy/paste a point per day to share, I found myself relating it to my experiences and life and really thinking about each point for that day with the hope of actively incorporating it into my life.
This is probably one of my favorite and most dear points because I started to connect on a totally different level with people and established some of my closest friends when I allowed myself to be ME unapologetically and truthfully with all my flaws and all.I think It comes with experience, maturity, confidence and sometimes life-changing events like being a first-time Mom which is when I shared ME because of my recent diagnosis with postpartum. What I discovered was more than half of my seemingly perfect Mommy/Baby group was suffering from the same.Being your true self is not only liberating but allows you to tap into your passion and connect with people on a very truthful level. It takes courage to lay bare your core and to open-up but encourages those around you to do so as well.

Facing problems head-on…

kahala“30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself” by Marc Chernoff 

2. Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch.

From my own experience, I know how difficult and easy it is to live in the “grey zone” of existence when it comes to life-altering decisions. This is exactly what I did regarding my marriage of 18 years. Now that it’s been made to part, I am exactly where I need and want to be and can say that I have seized control of my destiny and am the author of my life.  Feeling blessed spending my first vacation as a sole parent with my children here in Oahu where we met my Dad and stepmom, I am hopeful and happy.

I have a purpose and a dream and I look forward to evolving, sharing and pursuing all that it entails. While things are happening, everything that has happened started with an action I assumed and initiated. I created an ad for my FB bicepmom page not really knowing how it would be received and who would respond but am humbled and thrilled by everyone sharing and supporting OUR journey to live our passion and truth.

With this blog, I had no expectations beyond sharing my fitness journey online. Recently a few companies have contacted me about advertising and product reviews on it. Feeling fortunate but also realizing that all that has transpired was initiated by action taken on my part by facing my problems head-on and seizing control of my destiny. No doubt, it was one of the hardest decisions of my life that affected not only me but my family and I believe it was a mutual one as well.

So now I position myself and am here to create the roadmap of my life rather than meander through the woods. Believe!! One life, our choices and our truth!!

Detour…

viprI returned to our old home to pick-up a few items left behind and was taken aback by my emotional reaction upon seeing it empty being prepped for market. It was a clear indication of a chapter ended…almost 6 years since we relocated to the area. I never imagined this is where I’d be…then to pick-up the children at Daddy’s home and see them say bye for our long weekend together was all surreal.

Settling into my new home and moving forward, I am at peace and feel stronger each day and so thankful that the children seem to be doing well.  No regrets making a decision to change a path I had chosen but unfortunately left me unhappy for a variety of reasons for which I partly assume.

Wiser now about my needs, my strengths, my growth areas and most importantly starting a new phase where each day is ready to be lived with passion and purpose. One life, no regrets, our choice…make it yours!! Believe!!

Book 2, Chapter 1…

courage

Sitting here at my ‘new local Starbucks’ as my internet service has yet to be connected. Thinking about all that has transpired this past weekend which is the culmination of a few years of counseling and a year of transition. Just spoke with my children on the phone and they are doing as well as can be and I’m so thankful their Dad and I were able to handle the situation amicably. Had a few tearful moments one of which was when their Dad returned a book which was a gift from me. He thought it was mine and hadn’t seen the inside cover note.

We are also both open to meeting others and were recently matched-up on an online dating site which was not only surreal but admittedly met with mixed emotions. I even felt a bit of jealousy but also relief as it’s a sign he is moving on as I am as well.

I’m preparing for a figure competition which has me on a food plan that is totally opposite of what I normally eat. I’m a carb person but this food plan is all protein. Since I’m not hitting my numbers for carbs and fats but most definitely have increased my protein intake, I’m gaining and wondering how this will all fall into place come show time. I’m committed for several reasons but most importantly to the mental discipline that will accompany this journey.

Since joining a dating site, I have, once again, made myself vulnerable to distraction and attention neither of which serves my long-term purpose to be my own person but have met some very interesting people who are in similar situations and have shared and offered insight into this process as newly single individuals, with children and new goals. I have had one person in particular who has been emotionally supportive so I struggle with falling prey to my own weakness and staying on course with defining myself and purpose. My goal is to be a solid ME that remains the same whether or not in a relationship.

My purpose is to continue sharing my journey to help inspire others who may feel paralyzed in their situation. The mind is powerful and I’m learning that once a decision is made, one tends to start making the choices that align with the decision.  For me, it was regaining my identity as Debbie in addition to Mommy and formerly Mrs and  finding the strength to redirect myself to live a life of passion, purpose and happiness.

Embarking on Book 2, Chapter 1, excited to see how it all transpires, full of ideas and what could be and seizing and creating opportunities: networking, reaching-out and LEARNING…To believing in your truth and happiness…to alignment of mind, body and soul.

Moving on…

livelovematterJuly 15, 2013 will mark the one year date of a crossroads in my life. I was told the process would take a year and, at the time, I didn’t think it would but it has…the emotions are being tucked away to allow us to move forward and onward but, as I pack things, I inevitably come across tokens of memories: a framed wedding invitation, wedding album, engagement album and other photos from the past. It’s hard and sad as I recall those days, but, I realize too that the decision was made over time. So I hold the memories and move forward and hope for all that is yet to come…believe and try so you don’t regret.
“The only thing standing between you and what you want is the will to try and the faith to believe it’s possible”.  Believe!!