“We are what we believe…”

TD

I chose to be a full-time Mother because I had the fortune of choice but also, admittedly, because I didn’t believe my full-time career warranted me returning to work over the choice of being a full-time Mom. I realize now that I allowed self-limiting beliefs to dictate that decision and to claim any success that could have been.

Now in my 40′s recently divorced but equipped with experience and maturity, I believe that anything is possible. I learned along the way through balancing my life that being the “perfect Mom” came at the sacrifice of ignoring my needs as an individual and, ultimately, paying a high price through PPD (postpartum depression) and a failed marriage to a certain extent. As a new Mom, I did what I thought I was suppose to do which was nurse for 2 years, join a baby group at 3 months, enroll my children in music, gym and swim classes and play and read to them at 6 months.

Fast forward 6 years, through fitness, I regained my identity and not only the realization that my life was not in alignment but that I was unhappy. No amount of therapy and effort helped because my heart was not in it. So after finally finding strength to follow my intuition, I awoke on July 15, 2012 to do what was needed to allow myself another opportunity to live life as I imagined: happy and without limitations.

Re-reading “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and with a friend’s reminder of the book’s lessons, I realize that when we limit ourselves, it is based only on old agreements we made about and with ourselves of what we are capable of and our reality is what we make of it. To believing anything is possible and believing in yourself. Love.

 

 

 

 

“The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz

four_agreements“The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz

I read and am re-reading because as a dear friend pointed-out, I need to understand and incorporate into my life and not just read words.

I know for sure as I navigate my new life and transition from where, what and how I was as a wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend and individual to who I am and wish to be today that the Four Agreements are the key to successfully making the change: impeccability, not take things personally, not making assumptions and doing my best.

To responding from the inside out and not playing victim to circumstances and others because what is said and done is usually a reflection of them not you: this is not taking it personally. Reading into what someone says is making assumptions so taking what someone says at face value is essential for mental health. If we have a question, asking for clarification prevents misinterpretation and possible unnecessary angst. If we do our best, we will reflect upon life without regret and being impeccable with our word will leave us at peace knowing we said what we meant and meant what we said.

I am living change and family, friends and those around me are living change as well interacting with me. Who, what and where I was a year ago is not who I am today because it required an enormous amount of strength to regain control and be captain of my life realizing that I was FULLY accountable and responsible for my happiness and not laying blame on others, my situation and every other reason I could think of for not making change.

Believe!

http://www.toltecspirit.com/

Purpose…

mcomPosted on Facebook this morning:
Racing around this morning preparing to leave for school, so many thoughts occurred to me…my daughter who is 12 years is living change daily which means I’m observing, witnessing and living it as well from her demeanor in the form of stances (i.e. hands on hips), expressions (i.e. there are two of me in the house now?!) and behavior (i.e. privacy), my own situation and then there is my son who just turned 9 years and seemingly is the one who is making the most sense these days.It almost suddenly occurred to me that it’s all about the INSIDE OUT and not OUTSIDE IN!

When we are internally directed and driven, we follow our heart, intuition and are in our zone and almost oblivious to our surroundings not in a bad way but in a way that abets us b/c we are immune to the doubters, naysayers and those who may questions our intentions, actions and US.

I have to remind myself that I need to live from the inside out so that despite my circumstances, surroundings and situation, I am able to remain the same: secure in who I am at my core and living the essence of me. I find this tricky at times because it’s human nature to be empathetic yet we can not allow ourselves to be so influenced that we lose our sense of direction and who we are and seek approval and acknowledgement from outside.

This brings me to my recent conflicting feelings towards Facebook. There are times when I realize there is a fine line between posting for purpose and posting for approval, acknowledgment and self-promotion. I describe Facebook as the People/US magazine for civilians. Though it’s a way for us to stay connected with old, current and business friends and family, it’s also a platform to present ourselves as we wish to the outside world.

My concern with Facebook individually is that it’s very purpose is externally driven and unless we are secure at the core, our posts, comments and interactions can start to direct, dictate and determine our mood, day and life?!

I purposely attach the photo to this post because I know once I posted to inspire but I can now see how it could be interpreted as self-promoting and it leaves me doubting my intentions now and the purpose of FB in my life.