AM versus WILL…

While walking Freddie this morning, I thought about the message in the below article, and, it made me think about the power of words. What would happen if I replaced WILL with AM in my internal dialogue and, I thought, WOW how powerful it sounds to be saying to myself “I AM” and “I AM DOING” instead of “I WILL” and “I WILL BE DOING”. By simply changing one word, we can BE and DO and start creating that reality instead of WILL and waiting for that perfect moment.

Now as a Mom and more mature individual, I realize that WILL, WHAT IF and WANT results in unmet potential and mediocrity and that there is no perfect moment. The most important step is taking one.

(And I have lived the power of words and mindset these past two months as an instructor. By simply changing my internal dialogue to I AM A GREAT INSTRUCTOR instead of I WILL and I HOPE, the quality of instruction and my class have improved and is evident in the feedback and attendance). I hope by sharing that we can all start being kinder, gentler and more empowering with our internal dialogue and selves.

 

http://www.precisionnutrition.com/the-perfect-time

“Grass is the color of choice”…

javcaveI have been asked “is the grass greener on the other side” and I don’t think it’s about being greener somewhere else but rather which color we choose to see wherever the grass may be.

A few years ago, I unintentionally started sharing how fitness empowered me to make changes in my life. My situation wasn’t unique but quite common in many ways. As we experience the passages in life, people change and grow either together or apart leaving two scenarios: to make it work or to move on.

I shared a lot and when I look back, I’m surprised. At the time, I believed in sharing inspired by the women who were making the choices and changes I was embarking on and never thought I could or would. It served a therapeutic purpose during a sad and difficult period.

I realized then and know now that there is no right way to being a Mom, wife and daughter but there is a choice in living our life in alignment in being confident in who we are, what is important to us and what makes us happy.

My family encouraged me to find a hobby to give me a break in the day from being MOM. I couldn’t fathom leaving my children with anyone and it wasn’t until my eldest was 13 months when I left her for two hours while I attended a bikram class. Our first vacation might have been when the children were 3 and 7 years.

The grass may seem greener on the other side but the grass always ends-up being the color we choose to see. Life changes are not easy and I am not advocating any particular choice. Incorporating fitness into life is as sustainable and important as we make the life changes we choose. “Fitness is a lifestyle, not a destination”. To being YOU!

“Change is in Your Hands” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

jav2“There comes a point when something comes into your thoughts and you begin to wake up to the idea of finding your truth. You finally live in a state of consciousness and you begin to have respect for the love of your life which is you. You begin to see your whole human being as a temple. When you make a choice, you make an intent, and that intent is to serve your temple. That temple needs you to be at service so you can feed it with your love, your soul food.

When you make a choice you make an intent, and when you follow through, you know deep in your heart you will take that action. Like father says, always do your best, because you know that change is in your hands. There is nothing and no one to blame, if you want something to change in your life, only you have the ability to make a change. When you make a change in your life, like magic everyone and everything around you begins to change.

You are living in a Universe that is full of opportunity, success and creativity right now. You can give into negativity or you can be the change through example by living in positivity, and finding that voice inside of you, that place where all creations are formed and there is no limitation on who you choose to be. The choice is yours use this moment to start being your authentic self. Welcome to your Universe of Now. Transformation begins right NOW!” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

http://theuniverseofnow.com/change-is-in-your-hands-3/

The Power of words…

holidayusThere will always be those who will disagree, judge and toss-out negativity but, as a friend wisely advised, “don’t allow others to choose your future”.

As a Mom of a teenage daughter, I am not only aware but sensitive to the power of words. To an adult but especially a teen who is navigating their way through life and establishing an identity, a negative comment can have the power to be not only unsettling but somewhat debilitating.  Our children model our behavior and words and so, it is our responsibility to live with compassion, care and kindness.

After reading the book entitled, “Odd Girl Speaks Out” by Rachel Simmons, and seeing the movies “Dallas Buyers Club” and “Lone Survivor”, I believe the message is the same and, that is, when our lives are at stake, it’s basic emotions of love and kindness that matter and override any pre-existing prejudices, judgements and negative feelings towards others. We are kind and loving by nature and negativity stems from pain, anger and hurt.

“We can’t control the actions of others but we can control how we respond”.

My Facebook Addiction…

FBcartoonMy relationship with Facebook started innocuously 5 years ago to reconnect with old friends, stay in contact with existing friends and family, to network and share information.

It’s been 2 days since I decided to deactivate my account and with most addicts, we think we can control our addiction but, the reality is more likely that we can’t, which is why I decided to go cold turkey, deactivate and not log-on for a while, if ever.

There is nothing wrong with Facebook.  It was how I interacted and used it that became an issue.  I started to live two realities: my Facebook and in-person reality when posting with intention to stay in contact and share information became posting to elicit a response that now had the power to dictate my mood and quality of day by likes and comments.  Instead of real-life experiences nurturing and nourishing my self-esteem and confidence, I had allowed a social media platform to assume this role.

A recent Huffington Post Parents article describes how we, as parents, have become so consumed with recording our children’s performances on electronic devices that we actually miss the performance seeing it from behind a lens.  And so it was with me, as the editor, photographer and writer of my very own Facebook reality magazine.

Two days ago, I posted a photo just to post so I thought but deep down, I realize it was related to my self-esteem by seeing how many likes and comments it would receive.  The post ignited a conversation with a close friend who left me to ponder my Facebook addiction with “that’s BS, you’ll be back on it tomorrow, you need it”.

There are many reasons for ending this relationship, but, in a nutshell, I did it because with all addictions, it was unhealthy. Since deactivating my account, my mind is more focused, more present in the moment but, most importantly, in more control of my reality and life.  Everyone is different and I am not passing judgment on Facebook and/or Facebook users.  I am sharing my own experience and also letting my family and friends know why I deactivated my account.

We define our reality by the daily choices we make.  Believe!

Lifestyle plan…

colinYesterday I had a conversation that left me thinking again about health and fitness.

I feel fortunate that fitness has become part of my lifestyle and is a passion and serves a purpose. I never set-out with a particular goal but I have been asked how and what. I attribute how I am to part genetics, eating (though I am far from a model example) and a regular routine of exercise. I have been asked on a few occasions about how to get arms like mine? I am now tempted to say this:

I have been on a 6 year program of regular exercise and mindful eating without depriving myself of the occasional treat. I still enjoy my daily granola/oatmeal mix and venti peppermint mocha but I realize I can not eat everything I’d like at any time.

There are days when I’m tired but I’ve identified a facility where I enjoy their group fitness classes which serves my purpose and which I complement with yoga and running during the week. I don’t know when this plan will end as I intend it to be a lifestyle plan.

Giving thanks…

NicoleheartHappy Thanksgiving! Thankful for a lot on this day and for my family’s encouragement to share my journey…helping one person find strength in making a decision/creating an opportunity will be but a bonus to the therapeutic exercise this page and my blog has provided me this past year.

There will always be different interpretations of experiences in life but our choice as to which one we choose. Believe!

drawing credit: daughter 12 years

“We are what we believe…”

TD

I chose to be a full-time Mother because I had the fortune of choice but also, admittedly, because I didn’t believe my full-time career warranted me returning to work over the choice of being a full-time Mom. I realize now that I allowed self-limiting beliefs to dictate that decision and to claim any success that could have been.

Now in my 40′s recently divorced but equipped with experience and maturity, I believe that anything is possible. I learned along the way through balancing my life that being the “perfect Mom” came at the sacrifice of ignoring my needs as an individual and, ultimately, paying a high price through PPD (postpartum depression) and a failed marriage to a certain extent. As a new Mom, I did what I thought I was suppose to do which was nurse for 2 years, join a baby group at 3 months, enroll my children in music, gym and swim classes and play and read to them at 6 months.

Fast forward 6 years, through fitness, I regained my identity and not only the realization that my life was not in alignment but that I was unhappy. No amount of therapy and effort helped because my heart was not in it. So after finally finding strength to follow my intuition, I awoke on July 15, 2012 to do what was needed to allow myself another opportunity to live life as I imagined: happy and without limitations.

Re-reading “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and with a friend’s reminder of the book’s lessons, I realize that when we limit ourselves, it is based only on old agreements we made about and with ourselves of what we are capable of and our reality is what we make of it. To believing anything is possible and believing in yourself. Love.

 

 

 

 

“The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz

four_agreements“The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz

I read and am re-reading because as a dear friend pointed-out, I need to understand and incorporate into my life and not just read words.

I know for sure as I navigate my new life and transition from where, what and how I was as a wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend and individual to who I am and wish to be today that the Four Agreements are the key to successfully making the change: impeccability, not take things personally, not making assumptions and doing my best.

To responding from the inside out and not playing victim to circumstances and others because what is said and done is usually a reflection of them not you: this is not taking it personally. Reading into what someone says is making assumptions so taking what someone says at face value is essential for mental health. If we have a question, asking for clarification prevents misinterpretation and possible unnecessary angst. If we do our best, we will reflect upon life without regret and being impeccable with our word will leave us at peace knowing we said what we meant and meant what we said.

I am living change and family, friends and those around me are living change as well interacting with me. Who, what and where I was a year ago is not who I am today because it required an enormous amount of strength to regain control and be captain of my life realizing that I was FULLY accountable and responsible for my happiness and not laying blame on others, my situation and every other reason I could think of for not making change.

Believe!

http://www.toltecspirit.com/

Purpose…

mcomPosted on Facebook this morning:
Racing around this morning preparing to leave for school, so many thoughts occurred to me…my daughter who is 12 years is living change daily which means I’m observing, witnessing and living it as well from her demeanor in the form of stances (i.e. hands on hips), expressions (i.e. there are two of me in the house now?!) and behavior (i.e. privacy), my own situation and then there is my son who just turned 9 years and seemingly is the one who is making the most sense these days.It almost suddenly occurred to me that it’s all about the INSIDE OUT and not OUTSIDE IN!

When we are internally directed and driven, we follow our heart, intuition and are in our zone and almost oblivious to our surroundings not in a bad way but in a way that abets us b/c we are immune to the doubters, naysayers and those who may questions our intentions, actions and US.

I have to remind myself that I need to live from the inside out so that despite my circumstances, surroundings and situation, I am able to remain the same: secure in who I am at my core and living the essence of me. I find this tricky at times because it’s human nature to be empathetic yet we can not allow ourselves to be so influenced that we lose our sense of direction and who we are and seek approval and acknowledgement from outside.

This brings me to my recent conflicting feelings towards Facebook. There are times when I realize there is a fine line between posting for purpose and posting for approval, acknowledgment and self-promotion. I describe Facebook as the People/US magazine for civilians. Though it’s a way for us to stay connected with old, current and business friends and family, it’s also a platform to present ourselves as we wish to the outside world.

My concern with Facebook individually is that it’s very purpose is externally driven and unless we are secure at the core, our posts, comments and interactions can start to direct, dictate and determine our mood, day and life?!

I purposely attach the photo to this post because I know once I posted to inspire but I can now see how it could be interpreted as self-promoting and it leaves me doubting my intentions now and the purpose of FB in my life.