Yesterday, I decided to put on hold teaching group fitness classes because I had met the goal I set two years ago of learning to teach and being added to a regular schedule at a few facilities. Recently, I realized my lack of motivation to take my class to the next level was a sign that it was time for me to reassess this goal and perhaps move-on to another. So here I am again figuring-out what goals to set for 2013 and beyond not just to have but more importantly to achieve for the purpose and meaning they will serve. As I mature, the fear of regret and not the fear of failure is what motivates me.
I have always wanted to be in the entertainment business in some capacity but reality overcame dreams and I went on to do what I should: graduated from college, secured a job, continued working until after getting married and started a family. Now I’m at a crossroads in life where I will surely regret not pursuing my dreams and making them happen no matter how outrageous they may seem versus living life passively.
My first goal of 2013 is to ensure that my goals are aligned with my dreams. I’m not sure how I am going to get from here to there but I will remind myself of the other recent goal I set where at one point it seemed impossible. I have ideas but, again, ideas are only ideas until we create a roadmap of action to make these ideas reality. My first step in making this dream a reality is putting it out there and making myself more accountable than if it were still in my mind and shared with only a few friends…..
One action item I am considering is entering a figure competition. Entering the competition would serve two purposes: it would be my way of making a point to pursue our dreams no matter what and where we are in life as a woman/Mom and possibly provide a platform into entertainment….This idea/goal seems outrageous to me right now but I can’t help hearing the quote “If it doesn’t scare you, the dream isn’t big enough” so I suppose this dream falls into that category and now that it’s out, though scary, makes it a little bit more real :)…
I never set-out to look the way I do now but, ironically, how I look today has become the vehicle for my purpose in life which is to inspire women and Moms’ to pursue their passion, whatever and whenever it may be. For me, I knew I always wanted to be a Mom. It took 9 months to conceive our first child and no time for our second but I distinctly remember how sad I was when it took time for the first. I remember thinking about adoption and not even IVF or other fertility treatments. What I didn’t know at the time was the degree of responsibility and change that would accompany this life changing decision. I encountered quite a few challenges from severe nausea to Nicole being admitted to the NICU (intensive care unit) when she was a few days old for jaundice, nursing issues and postpartum depression. All of which I had none with our second.
What then transpired was an angst ridden Mom whose purpose became being the ‘perfect parent’ who didn’t leave her children with anyone for the first year. I immersed myself in all things related to being a Mom from joining a baby playgroup, signing-up for every imaginable activity to teach, stimulate and educate my children to volunteering in school as a PTA board member to researching pre-schools where we had to apply to one and actually be interviewed and wait with baited breath for the acceptance letter. Yes, this was for preschool!
When we moved to the Bay Area in October 2007, the geographic change was also the onset of a personal one encouraged by my family. This is when I ventured into allowing myself a little time but I never expected to be ‘good’ at what I was doing or for it to become something. Fitness has become my purpose because it’s empowered me as an individual, a woman and as a Mom. I can stand proud of two children and myself and though I’m at a crossroads in life where I have my own challenges to overcome, I believe that where I’m at and what I’ve been blessed with via fitness, I’m stronger than I ever imagined to face the future with excitement and hope.
I have so much I want to do and accomplish but what keeps me going is the thought that maybe I can inspire others to forge ahead and discover something they love and to pursue it. My mission is my passion and I feel so fortunate to love what I do and do what I love. How I look is only part and parcel and yes, I’m thankful for it but I also know I work at what I do because I love it. So here’s to finding what you love and loving what you do and you are never too young or old to “just do it”!